dont you remember?

currently hearing and singing my heart out
yes, im asking you
dont you remember the reason you loved me before?
its words that matter
but you throw all that words to me,
i will never stay quietly still
i would always fight back
i didnt mean for what ive said
i dont know whether you meant yours
i hope not
i just want you to remember back
why did you love
coz now, it seems like you and me are getting out of love
i miss you, i miss us
but i just couldnt stand it when you throw that words to me
is this the way how you want me to be away from you?
coz if it is, i will be gladly to help you to chase me away
just like the song,
the more i try the less i know
i dont know you anymore
all i know is that i can never say anything
everything i say become thorns in your heart
should i just be quiet?
what do you want of me?
why wouldnt you tell me?
are reading this all this while?
if you do, why didnt you understand?
it is raining in and outside my heart...
i need you to speak your heart..
so that i could understand better







gemil..

EXTREMELY MAD

lately, i have been very busy.
with finals are coming up,
feels like i dont have enough hands and brain
this entry is about a girl i know in my class
she seems very kind and polite
religious and calm
very quiet and she is a petite person
but after knowing her for almost 4 years,
now i have come to the poimt where i cannot tolerate with her
her appearance is just a mask of hypocracy
shes hiding behind the layer of a true muslimah
i really hate it that way
the time i wrote this is the time after our bad bad hotel management presentation
her presentation sucked..
either she is bodoh sombong, dahla bodoh and sombong pulak tu tak nak tanya
or die sombong sangat sampai jadi bodoh
before this,on the colloquium day
unfornately i was the working committee at the section where she supposed to present
ntah dari mana datangnye, dia sakit perut on that day
the thing is, who would believe you if everytime you have a presentation you fell sick
kalau itu tanda depression pun, sema hasil keje perempuan ni macam sial..
oopppsss..memang sial....
ok fine, at the moment i asked my friend to tell her that she wont be getting any marks if shes not presenting,
kelam kabut pulak nak suruh org lain tanyakan untuk dia session presentation mana dia boleh masuk
kepala hotak ko,sebelum tuberjuta2 phone call dari kawan2 and texts ko tak reti nak reply?
we have arranged the most beautiful tentatives for the last 6 weeks
suka2 hati kau je nak masuk presentation session mana
ok, takpe
kau present jugak kan...and what had happened?
kaula presenter paling bagus dalam colloquium tu kan
sampai lecturer yeng sangat baik and bagus in the department have told her that her presentation was rubbish
aku tak ada waktu tu, coz aku present kat session and venue lain
now i know knp Dr K(bukan nama sebenar) said that yours is rubbish
memang sampah macam perangai kau yang kuat menyampai nyampai kan tuh
i know that she doesn have a father,
tapi kalau nak berbapak angkat pun tak perlulah sampai kau duduk dalam kalangan lecturer and tak campur dgn ktorg
nak berkepit je jantan bersongkok hipokrit tu?
kau nak tunjuk kau hot la yg lecturer suke kau?head over heels for you?
harap je nama baru naik haji
i am very embarrased in front of my chinese friends,
they even know that the malays are full of courtesy
when they told me about the story, and even asked me about it
i feel so embarrased
i know that i am not a good muslimah
i am just an average
at least aku elakkan pekara yang buat aku nampak buruk di pandangan mata kawan2 aku
i just hope that, one day she will brave enough to demolish her hypocracy
i respect religious people, i truly do
tapi kalau ada orang mencemarkan mcam perempuan tu buat, im sorry, i cannot hold it
tolonglah berhenti berpura-pura
even though we couldnt find out what your dishonedty is, but we sure know that you are being one of it.
tolonglah, menyampahla wey